Is There a Right Way to Find Real Love?

This video shocked me –

As a romance author and a believer in ‘love at first sight’ I watched in horror at this cynical, passionless approach to finding true love. I mean for heavens sake the woman had already made a connection, felt that magical, heart stopping moment when you first see him. That moment when your heart thuds, your stomach is filled with soaring butterflies, your mouth goes dry and you feel this warm glow radiating through your body.

It comes in a moment, unexpected, but precious, invigorating and disconcerting. He feels it too and you come together in an explosion of emotion.

Having experienced ‘love at first sight’ once in my life I shall never forget it. I have also experienced online dating including RSVP and it is something I wish I could forget. Cold and clinical, full of lies and photographs ten years out of date of men who use their computer as a smoke screen to hide their inadequacies. I know which one was ‘real’.

love quote

Finding a soul mate or long term partner has always bee fraught with difficulties and technology now has a small part to play in helping this to happen. But one cannot fall in love with a nebulous online presence – see how many are scammed because they foolishly believe they are ‘in love’ with the person on their screen – money, hearts and even lives have been forfeited in the name of online love.

demo kiss

I wonder as a romance author and as a single woman whether we should go searching for love online or otherwise. Is it really love if we pick someone from a profile, meet them and settle into a comfortable relationship. How many people feel the buzz of true love when they meet the man from RSVP, but he’s nice enough so do we compromise and make do with something comfortable rather than be alone.

A rich life, full of love, is achievable with or without a soul mate or long term partner. While I am single and alone but I am not lonely, and I am surrounded with so much love and potential for happiness I often have to pinch myself to make sure it is real.

But of course I think at times of meeting a soul mate – to be lucky in love a second time. Maybe my hero is just waiting out there for us to bump into each other. I hope so, but I refuse to be drawn by the commercial, clinical lure of online dating – to shuffle through the profiles, chat and meet only to find the magic is just not there.

I want love like the heroines in my novels – true, big, passionate, enduring and unexpected.

See how Kayla and Paige find true love with there heroes in

Deathly Embrace

Demolition of the Heart